11. Kai-Fuku (回復)

It has been a while since the last time I wrote and it feels good to just be back. It makes me feel like I have always belonged here. So here I am, updating you with my life. Just, to make it a good start.

First of all, since my last post, a lot of things happened. By a lot, I mean, a lot. Not even kidding. (Oh and my tone has slightly changed from the way I used to write here. Bear with me. I'll be a bit more friendly and close this time.) So on June 2015, I graduated high school with an acceptance letter from a university I have been wanting to go from a while ago but I had no scholarship. So I decided to just put that dream off. Yes. I mean, it wasn't so much of a big university but I felt like you don't really have to be in a super extra good university if you're just going to end up working fine just like everyone else. Then, I was sad. By sad, I mean the kind of sad that your tears doesn't even come out. Like, you know something heavy is sinking in you. That you feel like you heart strings are just stretching between each other until that 0.0001mm of the strings are able to be seen by your naked eyes. But that spring, my dad came up with a brilliant idea. So he decided that I could go to a Japanese language school and start up learning Japanese and make it as my third language, then go on and apply to a Japanese university. At first, I thought, "Hm, but all my other friends would be in their second year as I enter uni?" You know those kind of negative thoughts that you have when you're just, down? Yeah, I had those for almost half a year. It was a pain in the ass. A pain. But I went on an applied to the school without knowing what will I be learning soon, or what major tests will I be taking soon as I get into that school, whom will I be seeing there. 

I had to call a contact person whom I've known for three years while I was living in Japan and ask their permission if they could be my guarantor for as long as I'm in that school. And they said yes. So one box was checked. I also had to write three different essays on why I wanted to study in Japan, why Japanese and all. It wasn't so much but when asked to write, it was quite hard. So I did that. On November 27th 2015, I got an email from my guarantor saying that I'm accepted. I got to see my mum cry of happiness and hear my dad's happy voice over the phone since he was working outstation. From that moment on, I knew life has started. That I will soon no longer have my meals ready everyday after school. That I will have to be on my own. I had to look for apartments to live, I had to look for things to bring back to Japan, I had to list down foods to take with me (since I'm a real Asian???) Few months went by, March finally came. I had my tickets, my passport and all my things. I was ready. 

Then after I got here, school started. Surprisingly, I made few friends on the first day of school. (She was the first person to even say hi to me, that was why. And we're still close up until now.) I met a lot of people. A lot. People from countries that I usually just read in my GCSE geography text book or the news. I made a handful amount of friends by July. Then, the first summer--the summer where I did all the travelling and jobs began. Living alone could be lonely at times. There are nights where I would just cry and think if what I'm doing is the right thing for me to do. And those happened a lot in summer. So I took that chance. I took the chance to do what I love: to take more videos. More than ever. And up until today, I don't regret a single second of summer. Not at all. Summer was great. Even when I think of it now, I could still smell the sea, the sweat running through the city of Tokyo. I loved it. Then the new semester started in September and I was placed in a new class. With a few people who came from my previous class. I was still fine. But I knew with that small amount of friends, I won't be enjoying as much. So we had a small trip to Hakone somewhere in early September. This is when I made more and more friends. I met more new people from all over the world. The trip was great, I loved every single part of it; the long bus ride, the visits, the night. 

Then I got super busy with the entrance examination in November. I studied hard core. (Not really. But I was at school 23/6. Then that passed, I got accepted to a private university in Tokyo. With no scholarship again this time. But my dad promised that this one would be fine. So we went on and pain for the first part of the fee, and yes, I'm officially going for my degree this April 2017. Do I regret going for degree almost two years later than all of my other friends? Not at all. Not a single bit. I now, have another language I've mastered in a year and is going to a Japanese university, where my classes will be in Japanese. And that's different. From anyone else. Do I regret not going to the university I wanted to go? No. Not at all. So here I am, sitting in a Starbucks, trying to finish this blog post, as I just finished writing three different essays for my scholarship that I got chosen for. Do I ever picture myself being in this position that I am right now? No. Do I wish to change anything? Absolutely no. 

I will be writing more. Till next time.

Yours, 

Aisyah H.